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FUNNY
QUOTES
Players,
management, and the media, have provided
us with many laughs with their comments
throughout the years. Here's a selection:
"If we score more goals than they do,
we will win." -Advanced tactics from
KENNY DALGLISH
"I would not be bothered if we lost
every game as long as we won the league."
- MARK VIDUKA
"I just felt that the whole night,
the conditions and taking everything into
consideration and everything being equal,
and everything is equal, we should have
got something from the game - but we didn't."
- JOHN BARNES
"The boss keeps those things up his
sleeve, close to his chest" - CRAIG
BURLEY
"The Brazilians aren't as good as they
used to be, or as they are now." -
KENNY DALGLISH (what's that, Kenny? Brazil
are Scheidt?)
"He'd no alternative but to make a
needless tackle." - PAUL ELLIOTT
"Celtic have one of the most notorious
sets of supporters in Europe" - PAUL
ELLIOTT
"I was feeling as sick as the proverbial
donkey." - MICK MCCARTHY
"Last night,we were the best team on
the day." - ROY AITKEN
"We're calling him the young player
of the year, but he's only 20 years old."
- ALAN MCINALLY
"Mick McCarthy will have to replace
Cascarino because he's quickly running out
of legs." - MARK LAWRENSON
"When Celtic get an opportunity to
go above Rangers they've got to jump at
it with both hands." - ALAN MULLERY
"Celtic were at one time nine points
ahead, but somewhere along the road, their
ship went off the rails." - RICHARD
PARK
"...an excellent player, but he [Ian
Wright] does have a black side." -
GARY LINEKER
"I predicted in August that Celtic
would reach the final. On the eve of that
final I stand by that prediction."
- ARCHIE MACPHERSON
"It's been seventeen years since Celtic
first won this competition, and after tonight
it could be 18." - RODDY FORSYTH
"The club has literally exploded."
- IAN WRIGHT
"It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams)
to own up" - IAN WRIGHT on his team
mate's admission of alcoholism
"My name is usually the one on the
end of people's lips." - IAN WRIGHT
"I'm five short [of the Arsenal goalscoring
record] - not that I'm counting." -
IAN WRIGHT
"It's the carrot at the end of the
rainbow" - DANNY McGRAIN added 07/05/01
"It left a real bad taste in the eyes
of the supporters" - JIM DOCHERTY (on
the Celtic board situation) added 07/05/01And
here's a selection from the rest of Scottish
football and Scottish football "personalities":
"It's a Dutch invention, but we started
it in Scotland." - ANDY ROXBURGH
"I strongly feel that the only difference
between the two teams were the goals that
England scored." - CRAIG BROWN
"They had a dozen corners, maybe 12
- I'm guessing." - CRAIG BROWN
"Souness gave Fleck a second chance
and he grabbed it with both feet."
- JAMES SANDERSON
"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has
limped off with a badly cut forehead."
- TOM PERRIE
"We ended up playing football, and
that's not our style." - ALEX MacDONALD
(Doddie just being honest, while at Airdrie!)
"Our first goal was pure textile."
- JOHN LAMBIE
"Hagi is a brilliant player, but we're
not going to get psychedelic over him"
- ANDY ROXBURGH
"I'm definitely maybe going to play
Sturrock." -JIM (not Noel Gallagher)
McLEAN
"We can beat anyone on our day - so
long as we score." -ALEX TOTTEN
"He put his body between himself and
the defender." - PAUL STURROCK
"We had enough chances to win this
game, in fact we did win." -ALEX SMITH
"John Brown was on the dole two years
ago working as a baker in Inverness."
- COMMENTATOR
"Hearts are now playing with a five
man back four." - ALAN MCINALLY
"Trevor Steven, who until recently
was a former Rangers player..." - RADIO
4
"Jim McLean, one of the few managers
who can physically lift a side." -
ARTHUR MONTFORD
"I'm not convinced that Scotland will
play a typically English game." - GARETH
SOUTHGATE
"The lads ran their socks into the
ground." - ALEX FERGUSON
"Nowhere in Europe, especially the
world..." - ALEX FERGUSON
"If we can play like that every week
we'll get some level of consistency."
- ALEX FERGUSON
" ... I'm sure he will put it behind
him." BOBBY WILLIAMSON on Scotsport
discussing Jonathan Gould's blunder in scoring
an OG against Dundee in April 2000 added
20/04/00
Thanx to Ian MacKenzie for sending in the
above quote"I'd like to get more caps
under my belt" - GARY McALLISTER added
07/05/01
"He knew exactly what was behind him
there...which was nothing" - ANDY GRAY
added 07/05/01
"The only other game on in Scotland
today was in England" - MALCOLM WILSON
added 07/05/01
"There'll be more football in a moment,
but first we've got highlights of the Scottish
League Cup" - GARY NEWBON added 07/05/01
"The Scots are really knocking it about
to some tune" - ALISTAIR ALEXANDER
added 07/05/01
"I think John Burridge eats cassettes
before going out on the park" - GORDON
McQUEEN
added 07/05/01
Oh, alright, so some of our lot, past and
present, have ended up with their foot in
their mouth too! In the interest of fair
play, here's a selection (but we knew what
they meant, of course!)
"Football's not like an electric light
- you can't just flick the button and change
from slow to quick." - JOHN GREIG
"I've lost count of the times I've
played in that fixture. Each one was a memorable
occasion." - TREVOR STEVEN
"We keep kicking ourselves in the foot"
- RAY WILKINS
"The referee has a reputation for trying
to make a name for himself." - GRAEME
SOUNESS
"He [Brian Laudrup] wasn't just facing
one defender -- he was facing one at the
front and one at the back as well."
TREVOR STEVEN
"Celtic manager Davie Hay still has
a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve."
- JOHN GREIG
"The beauty of Cup football is that
Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath."
- TERRY BUTCHER
"If we'd won, it would have meant an
historic double-treble. But we weren't even
thinking about that." - WALTER SMITH
"The main thing in a cup tie is to
get through." - WALTER SMITH
"It was a big relief off my shoulder."
- PAUL GASCOIGNE
"I never predict anything, and I never
will." - PAUL GASCOIGNE
"I've had 14 bookings this season -
8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which
were disputable" - PAUL GASCOIGNE
"If Gabriel Amato's shot had gone in,
the result could have been different"
- GIOVANNI VAN BRONCKHORST
"You cannot guarantee a thing in this
game. All you can guarantee is disapointment."
- GRAEME SOUNESS
"He's captain of Rangers and that's
one of the reasons he's captain." -
WALTER SMITH
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